Life and life's questions

 For the first time in a while, I posted a photo of my spouse on my wall. I acknowledged our 30 year anniversary while all but admitting that I am NOT "over it." To rub salt in the wound: my gray area friend is coming to town and contacted my spouse.  Dammit, I am losing everything! 😆 I suppose that I'll be better off in the end but right now, I feel like an addict in withdrawal. 

  This isn't really a study of any sort.  But the question I want to ask: if you are married and have an "opposite sex" friend, is there a point where the relationship starts to migrate from "platonic" to "danger of cheating" territory? I've heard that it often starts with discussions. I admit that I've been a bit naive here. One time, I had an unusually long e-mail conversation with an athletic friend (one I had not met as yet in real life).  She finished with "thanks; this has been fun."  I told my spouse about that and she winced; that surprised me. But I guess that matters. Yes, my spouse can have access to my phone.  One time she sneaked a peek because I had a somewhat lengthy phone conversation.  It turns out it was with my daughter. LOL. But the real risk my spouse would take by seeing my phone would be dying of boredom. But back to behavior: what constitutes going into a gray area? I was going to list some examples, but I gues...

 And yes, I am talking about heterosexual couples. I'd say: "yes", to a point.  Why do I qualify my answer?  I've seen the dynamic suggested by these AI generated photos in play, many times. It seems to me that the eagerness to embrace "friendship activities" with a member of the opposite sex is correlated with how attractive that member is! No, I am not Mike Pence.  Yes, in the modern office, one has to work with both men and women and to get along in a platonic way.  One can also say the same about, say, club committees, church committees, etc. But when it comes to social type stuff, well, my guess is that the part of the brain that controls the human courting ritual actions is active and I wonder just "how" platonic the event is, even if no overtly sexual activity takes place.   I know that, for myself, the things I seek in a friend are often many of the things that make a woman attractive to me.